Thee and Thou

21 March 2004

BdF6     original art by
    Bryan de Flores

           Happy Equinox!   Hope yer ready for the change.   One of youall writes,

"I am in a huge shift right now and am unclear which way to go with my "spiritual career" so to speak it seems to be blending then changing altogether away from my "real job" and then comes back again.   Yes, its as confusing as that statement."
and yes, this Pluto station is indeed squaring your Moon.   Pluto flushes out everything that's hidden and spotlights everything that's not, any planet including Pluto is at it's strongest when it's stationary, and the Moonbone represents that portion of our emotions that look and feel like a pinball machine at full tilt.   So whaddawe get when we put those three things together in one jar and shake?   Nope, not a martini for Mr. Bond.

           The spiritual practice in intense Moon-Pluto synergy is about self-love.   Can we love all of our feelings so quickly that we can let them go in time to be fully present and loving with the next one?   It's a lot easier to be loving with our Venus-Heart feelings, which are much more steady and predictable and about what we want and what we like, than it is to be loving with our Moon-Belly feelings, which zip all over the map and cover the full range from grief to ecstasy to doubt to fear to gratitude to anger with no apparent justification other than the bamboo scaffolding that the mind rushes in to put under them if we aren't hip to that Coyote trick and replace our mind-reasons with heart-embrace.

           That was a pretty big sentence, we better cut it up into bite-size pieces.   Easier to love our Heart-Want-Venus emotions, than our Belly-Noreasons-Moon emotions.   Heart-Want-Venus emotions are organized like a symphony, with a central theme and repetition of key phrases with variations.   Belly-Noreasons-Moon emotions are like the wind in a Spring squall, gusting this way and that, no coherence.   Mind wants really bad to find some way to make sense of Belly-Noreasons-Moon emotions, but it's one of the worst things we can do, because when we do the mind freezes the world into Bruegelesque perversions of "reality."   We wanna embrace the Belly when it dances, see if we can be quick enough to follow it, not to understand, but to enjoy the journey.

           Emotion is a huge portion of the experience on this Planet.   Rejecting any of them just recycles our bummers and sticks us outa joy longer than we need to be.   There is a substantial portion of humans who were programmed (told repeatedly, often under threat of punishment) that certain emotions are not acceptable.   This has to be reprogrammed.   Sometimes it helps to differentiate emotions from behaviors - certainly there are behaviors that can be defined as unacceptable in certain situations but emotions and behaviors are very different things.   When we were programmed not to feel certain feelings, we may have been told that those feelings were equivalent to unacceptable behaviors.   It aint true.   Only by being loving with difficult emotions can we learn to be present enough with them to prevent them turning into behaviors that are less than strategic - if in fact that was ever a danger.

           Now, doubt and confusion are particularly pregnant emotions, because they block the doorway to the Heart, and veritably the doorway to Bliss and Grace.   All we gots tado, is recognize them when they come to call, and greet them with the Heart rather than the Mindbone.   It's that "easy" - not easy to remember, but effortless to do once we do remember.   But then no habit is easy to change, and our habit of looking to the mind to ease doubt and confusion is no tougher than any other.   How do we change habits?   We do something simple like tying a string around our finger or putting a stickynote on the mirror or the fridge or the inside of our glasses or on our nose, so we get a frequent reminder to stop our old habitual behavior - in this case, thinking.   Once we see the reminder, it's pretty easy to substitute the new behavior - in this case, feeling.   Where is it in the body, and what is the sensation like there?

           And nothing challenges us to love every random emotion-feeling-sensation like Moon-Pluto!   And as we said, with Pluto stationary-strong, the glove is on the ground!

           In this particular case, our querant's Moon opposes Vesta, with Pluto squaring them both.   Vesta's slightly ahead, so the full weight of the Pluto-Vesta square won't arrive till next year, but the effect is to trigger the opposition and so involve Vesta now.   Pluto-Vesta will flush out all of our expectations about what our seva should look like.   The problem with expectations, is that they're pre-scripted mindgames, they're more likely to be aimed at protecting us from the uncertainty of following Spirit, than about serving Spirit.   To serve Spirit means to give over control of our life to Her, and that's very scary.   Any shards of fire-and-brimstone and punishing-patriarchal-god and devouring-mother mythologies that we heard along the way, are gonna be up in our face to be cancelneutralizeupgraded.   And that'll certainly amplify doubt and confusion!

           So why am I sending this to everyone?   We do need to know where our own planets and other "hot spots" sit, so we can discriminate between what's going on with us and what's going on with Mom.   When I wrote about Pluto last week ({jbull} Dress Rehearsal for 2012), I wrote about identity and ego death as part of the drill.   There is no question that identity and ego death are big issues whenever Pluto is lit up, but they're bigger for me because the Pluto station opposes my Saturn.   Some folks would chide me for allowing my personal issues to color my global observations, and I would chide them right back for forgetting that we're All One.

           The only difference between the way I blend the personal and the universal, and the way they do it, is that I'm conscious of it, at least to some extent.   Objectivity is a political myth, the pretense of it a manipulation.   The Uranus-Pluto quintile teaches us this.   But awareness of how our persepective differs from that of say, our local anchorperson, is very valuable.   Some folks say that the time for gurus is past.   That's less true than to say that the time for a single guru has past.   We need all the perspectives we can get, and we need to cultivate our ability to hold many different perspectives at once, if we aspire to transcend the limitations of 3D.   We need all the gurus we can get, and more.

           Our querant asked "Are you able to break it down further so to speak.   I know you don't look at houses as much but I was wondering if whats showing up right now could give me clarity in the houses?"   I do argue that all we ever need to know is embedded in the spiritual side of astrology, which is read from the angles ("aspects") between the planets and other significant points.   To talk about the houses - or even the signs - may well provide clarity - to the mind.   And exactly what we need to do is get out of the mind and into the Spirit.   My First Teacher used to ask a question that triggered our confusion and doubt, then when we said "I dont know" she'd respond with "Well, what if you did know?"   The Heart and the Belly do know, but too often we reject their answer because it's too scary for the fictions which the mindbone has created.

           In fact, when we dig deeper into signs and houses, it's not clarity we seek, but comfort.   And comfort is important.   Comfort is the edge between learning and overwhelm.   Learning takes us a step forward, but overwhelm takes us two steps back.   So we do need to provide ourself with enough comfort that we're relaxed enough to learn.   In this case, our querant's Moon is in Pisces and Vesta in Virgo.   As the last sign and a water sign to boot, Pisces is the emotional equivalent of "your entire life flashing before your eyes" - Belly-chaos to the max, even before Pluto brought the laxative overdose.   So it might give our querant some comfort to know that they've chosen in this lifetime to clear out all resistance to emotion and become truly transparent to it, and now is one of the picturewindows into that work.

           Virgo is that last personal sign, the bridge between the glory of Leo (fixed fire or spirit made manifest) and the humility of Libra (cardinal air or thoughts thinking themselves) - and that's a big chasm to bridge.   There are few positive keywords for Virgo in Western culture - fastidious is probably about the best.   In Eastern culture the Shiva function is prominent, it's a third of the godhead.   It's about change, deconstruction, transformation, surrender.   The Caterpillar's "choice" to surrender to the unknown and become a Butterfly, or to hold one-pointed attention on the light and be reborn as perhaps a Shining One or a Newt.   So our querant's seva may have more to do with breaking down obsolete structures, than with building new temples, and if so that may not be a work that Western culture rushes to acclaim or reward.   And in this culture Virgo has learned self-deprecation pretty well, so the mind-habits that ask to be overcome may be fairly negative and deeply implanted.

           Whenever we're dealing with an opposition, it's more relevant to look at the axis than the individual signs, because it's the axis that's being brought into awareness.   Once we leave the tyrannical duality of the mind, Virgo is more like Pisces than not.   All of the oppositions in the zodiac are between the personal version and the transpersonal version of the same principle, so all oppositions are about becoming aware of the nonduality of the personal and transpersonal.   The Virgo-Pisces axis is about letting go, preparing the ground for something new without knowing what the new is.   Like childbirth, not knowing what sort of companion the universe will bless us with - though of course if we approach childbirth with the idea of programming our new companion, we've lost the plot completely, as that's quite the opposite of letting go.

           As for houses, our querant's Moonbone is on the sixth cusp and Vesta on the twelfth.   The cusp is the strongest point of a house, and the 6-12 axis is about introversion and inner-directedness.   So Pluto lighting up a 6-12 opposition will attempt to purge all thirst for outside recognition.   Pluto triggering a Moonbone on the 6th cusp will bring up a load of fears about having to do things dutifully (6th house) because God is watching, yet knowing that things must be done my way (Moon) or there will be resentment.   This is a delicious edge, because it gets resolved only through the realization that God wants us to do it our way, that is our duty.   Nothing like a Uranus-Pluto quintile to bring that lesson to the front row.

           Vesta on the 12th cusp will trigger fears that the only acceptable way to serve is through total self-sacrifice.   Kindofa Florence Nightengale complex.   What is true, is that the only workable way to serve is through total self-direction.   Through totally rejecting every preconceived notion of what it's sposta look like and creating our seva step by step, serendipitously, one stroke at a time, with no fixed vision of what the finished product will look like.   If we move through a city following the grid, we can see where we're heading.   But if we move through a city diagonal to the grid, we never get to see where we're going.   We turn east then north then east, but our view of northeast is always blocked by the buildings between the streets.   The 12th house is about holding our attention on a destination that only the Heart can see.

           Cerussite eases doubt by strengthening our 7th-chakra connections with our Higher Self.   It's a Carbonate of Lead, so it may be healthier to work with the picture than the stone itself.