Is That All There Is?

1 March 2004

BdF6     original art by
    Bryan de Flores

           Whatever excuses you been finding not to love yerself unconditionally, those are the thoughts which disguise the emotions that you're releasing here.   First, we need to separate the thoughts from the emotions.   Emotions have a physical echo, so we can locate them in the body.   Thoughts take us out of our body - in fact, we often use thought to help us avoid emotion and it's correlated sensation.   Not to disparage thought - thought correlates with spirit as emotion does with sensation.   But if you wanna stay in a body as you ascend, then ya gotta get to know emotion and release its bummers, and that happens in the body.

           There are also another set of emotions asking to be felt and released from a far deeper place.   Rather than yer excuses for not loving yerself unconditionally, these are yer excuses for loving yerself conditionally.   Yer "good" because why?   Or, you would be good if you did what?   These are more devious than our excuses for rejecting ourself, but they amount to the same.   It's always easier to release "bad karma" than "good karma," but they both gotta go.

           Here's an exercise...

1. Pick one of the four pictures at http://www.jbuss.com/jbl4c/opalor1.htm.   Choose the one that most grabs your attention, and allow synergy to flow from the picture into your body.   They're slightly different, they'll each pull different emotions.   Opal brings us into our body - this is Oregon Opal.

2. Gaze at http://www.jbuss.com/jbl4c/sodalite1.htm and as you do, release all of yer emotional baggage into it.   Take as long as you want or need or have to unload.   Indigo Sodalite soaks up karma.

3. Choose one of the four pictures below and click on it to bring up a larger picture.   Then beam synergy from that picture back into your body.   Take as long as you want or need or have to absorb this synergy.

           Repeat this exercise as many times as you like, at different times this week (and beyond), picking different pictures each time - no problem if you're drawn back to the same pictures.   It will work best if you choose the first picture that catches your eye, or the picture that most captures your attention.

           I'll tell you a little about these last four stones, but I dont recommend that you choose a picture based on these thoughts.   If you do, do it in addition to choosing pictures by their magnetism.   The red stone is Rhodonite.   It can ignite yer passion.   The green one is Datolite, which can inspire power and confidence through the knowledge that you're in yer Truth.   The blue one is Chrysocolla with a fine coating of Quartz crystals, and can heal you back to integrity.   We'll talk more about integrity ina minute.   The clear crystals are Apophyllite, which can bring clarity.

           We've talked about yin integrity as being True to yer Heart and yang integrity as being True to yer Word.   We are entering an Aquarian-Uranian age, where it's yin integrity that counts.   But if we step back, we can easily integrate the two, simply by making yer Word always True to yer Heart!   Not the way we was raised, was it, many of us!   We're sposta say nice or say nothing, and lying nice is sposta be better than saying nothing.   There is no inherent conflict between nice and honest, only the apparent conflict introduced by negative thoughts (such as "You Bastahd" instead of "Oho, I notice I'm angry").   Heart is superior to Will, so we cannot force Heart to be Untrue (though we can certainly be Untrue to Heart!).   But we can get Tongue to obey Will, then all we gots ta do, is get Will to obey Heart!

Yer Emotions are always True to yer Heart.

           That's a big statement for anyone who was trained to believe that certain emotions are not good.   See if you can adopt it as a premise for a while.   In order to make that statement True, what other beliefs of yours would have to shift?

           It may help to know that astrology defines two different types of Emotion - the kind that changes very quickly (Moon) and the kind that remains pretty constant (Venus).   You can really deeply respect someone (Venus) yet get very angry with them at times (Moon).   And you can strongly dislike something (Venus), yet once in a while thoroughly enjoy it (Moon).   Obviously we're gonna get in a lot less trouble with ourselves if we can get Moon and Venus to align!   There is no astrological reason why everyone can't do that, but some of us have to go against the prevailing culture to accomplish it.

           So the big news this week is the station of Saturn (see {jbull} He's My Brother) on Sunday 7 March.   When Saturn is strong, the game is about staying focused on whatcha want and letting go of whatcha don't want.   Saturn seems like limitation to so many folks because they "choose" to keep their attention on the options that they're losing.   I know, it dont feel like a choice, but it is.   Look at it this way - if you have the choice to do otherwise, you have chosen to do as you are doing, you just weren't aware that you were choosing, because the choice was made by a bigger version of you than you're used to conceiving.   That's the nature of karma, it doesnt feel like a choice.   But it is.   There is only one synergy keeping karma in place, and that's inertia, habit, the comfort of the known.   Thats the only synergy that tethers you.

Photo courtesy NASA/JPL/Space Science Institute.

           Every time you become conscious that what you are doing or thinking is a choice, even for a second, your karma is released.   But freedom is a terrible thing, it is the Void, it is emptiness - unless we've spent many years meditating on the emptiness, and so recognize it as pure unmanifest synergy.   There is a shift happening here.   Many have done this homework.   Can the others copy their answers?   A rising tide lifts all boats.   As the tide rises, if you dont release yer own karma, it will be torn from you.   If yer karma continues to be yer source of security, you're gonna be without a paddle, and you'll feel it as terror.   The "War on Terror" is our metaphor.   We do not have to choose to grasp the karma that we must be at war to survive, that our Mother Planet and her denizens are a Medusa bent on destroying us unless we destroy them first.

           Karma's funny.   It fills our field and so is as invisible to us as the air.   Till we have a moment of clarity and see it.   Then the game is up, karma is gone as quick as a Leprechaun when you turn yer head to see what moved.   We gasp - and whoa, the air is gone!   We fear this suffocation, this ego death, so we refill our field, we grab our karma back again!   It's the easiest thing to do, easy as breathing.   We done it all our life, all our many lives, we get points for doing it, Mom and Dad are proud, nobody stones us or hunts us down, crowds cheer.   Somebody gotta turn that around.   Somebody gotta cheer when we gasp and find nothing to breathe, somebody gotta coach us that we have options.   We have found that somebody and it is us.   Or better yet, we gotta validate ourself for this, while we teach others how to do it.

           So Saturn has finished its retreat.   What else do we know?   Its retreat began on 25 October, exactly opposite Chiron, at the same time Neptune was emerging from its retreat.   Busy busy busy.   So if we combine what we know about these three orbs, whaddawe get?   Saturn can bring up issues of identity.   Chiron can be about healing our victim spaces so we realize we're making choices.   And Neptune can be the very freedom we so crave and fear.   It's confusing to both crave and fear something.   If you been confused about yer identity as a healer over the last several months, yer right on.   Remember, confusion is good, it's the melting of a few of the bars of our cage.   People cling so tenaciously to their mythologies now because these thought-cages are strengthened by groupthink and so provide security.

           Dont worry about this, Pluto will flush it away as it transits the rest of Sagittarius.   Nothing is more relentless than Pluto, so this is the least of our worries - even though it may appear to be one of the highest priorities.   I do continue to recommend that we act to do as much as we can to alter the current course of humanity toward its destructive transformation.   But dont waste yer energy worrying about the result, since it's already assured.   Speak and act from yer Heart, and dont be attached to outcomes.

           The Saturn retreat spanned 7-14 Cancer, so whatever planets you have at 7-14 cardinal (Cancer, Aries, Libra, Capricorn), have been victims of big changes.   For instance, one of us has Moon and Uranus in this range - they've probably been through some emotional (Moon) tests of how well they can stay true to themself (Uranus).   Another of us has Sun and Vertex in this zone, and they probably learned a lot about their cosmic self (Vertex), the self of which their current life (Sun) is but a small fragment.   Another of us has Juno there, and probably went through big changes in their allegiances.

           The timing of these changes?   What felt like a problem was introduced between July and October.   Then from October til now we been working it over - or rather, it's been working us over.   Between now and early June, it gets worked out, and we begin to feel competent to deal with it.   This is the way it works if we accepted responsibility for it, either in the July-October period or in the October-March period.   If we're still blaming this issue on someone else - or even blaming ourself (rather than loving ourself, slightly more than we love everyone else), then between now and June we just get another opportunity to take responsibility.

           Cancer 7-14 is the transition from compassion to deep compassion, and the temptation to manipulate.   In early Cancer we just care.   In the middle of Cancer, we care deeply, so deeply that often it hurts.   The middle of Cancer gives us the choice to be lovingly present with the pain, or act to try to stop or avoid it.   Eventually we learn that stopping or avoiding the pain only prolongs it, that sooner or later we will need to learn to "keep our heart open in Hell" as Stephen Levine puts it.   But that lesson comes later.   Here we're just faced with the question.   The hard part of it is that it's not just something we're learning the way we learned our sums.   This is Saturn, so it's an ego death, a shift of our sense of who we are.   So the pain feels like it's killing us.   And it is - it's transforming us, our old identity is dying.   The cleanest course is to let it die.

           The station itself occurs Sunday at Honolulu 7am, Seattle 9am, New York noon, London 5pm, Jerusalem 7pm, and Sydney Monday 4am.   So the sense of limitation - and the need to focus on our desires - is likely to build till then, and then release quickly if we're mindful of it.   Astrological influences, like karma, fade much more slowly (if at all) when we aren't mindful of them.