Boris and Natasha

12 February 2004

BdF6     original art by
    Bryan de Flores

           Some of us have been underestimating Uranus in Pisces ({jbull} Soft Belly).   To quote our last issue,

"over these next seven years, whatever emotions ill become you will be scraped off like mud from a boot; you dont wanna be holding on"
to them.   Uranus is yin integrity, and in Pisces it's about emotional integrity, which means being responsible to all of our emotions.   That's responsible to - do you know what that means?   It aint "responsible for" - lotsa folks were programmed to believe that being "responsible for" all yer emotions means to suppress all but the "good" ones.   Gotayerroomanddontcomeouttillyacancomeoutsmilin dontworrybehappy kinda stuff.   In the real world yer emotions are sovereign, not yer thoughts, not yer mom's preferences, and not George.

           This means that when you feel an emotion, you're responsible to it - you're responsible for actually feeling it in yer body, for being present with it, maybe for naming it, maybe for identifying its source, and maybe for expressing it.   Lotsa maybes in there.   Notice the two responsibilities without maybes - actually feeling it and being present with it.   This also means not thinking it.   If you have an internal narrator, you can learn the difference between "Oooh, my tummy feels really horrible" (a feeling) and "Oooh, my tummy feels like Baghdad" (a thought).   Marshall Rosenburg's work may be useful (http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/) if you need help with this.   If you don't have an infernal narrator, you can just notice whether you're thinking or talking - if yer doing either, you aint feeling.   One of the tests you hafta pass to get off this rock, is to be able to feel all yer feelings.

           Let's look at the maybes.   Maybe naming it.   Sometimes it helps to say to yerself, "Oh, there's anger."   But there's leghold traps here too.   Learn the difference between emotion-words (angry, excited, scared, sad, elated...) and sensation-words (tense, relaxed, tight, fluttery...) and thought-words (because..., like..., that..., you..., they...), and stay away from the latter.   All generalizations are thoughts.   If we believe that emotions require action, then generalizing is a great way to defuse them and cut that loop short.   "Men are just like that, ya may as well accept it," instead of "I'll get him, that dirty bastard!"   But the problem is not the action, it's the belief that emotion and action are connected, so cutting that loop just keeps you imprisoned.   The path that leads to liberation is the one that starts with "Oh, there's anger!   How do I experience that in my body?"   If you were trained to believe that some emotions are naughty or lessthan or "negative," then you'll deceive yerself less if you use the sensation-words when ya name yer feelings, rather than the emotion-words.

           Maybe for identifying its source.   This one's real tricky.   Present-moment feelings come through and are gone in a few seconds.   If an emotion hangs around long enough for you to blame it on something or someone, it's not likely to be present-moment.   It might be useful to ask yerself, "How old do I feel" or "When did I first feel this?" but even those questions won't necessarily take you to the roots of a non-present-moment feeling, since most have roots in other lifetimes.   If you were born without a Veil, you might get somewhere by asking, "What lifetime did I first feel this in?" but only if that helps release and not blame.   And it's a mistake to personalize feelings anyway, since most of yer feelings aren't even yers.   They're contagious, the anger you feel might be yer neighbor's, or yer great grandmother's, or leaking in from some parallel.   If they belong to anybody at all.   It may help to identify a trigger - the event that evoked the feeling in the present moment.   But don't confuse a trigger with a cause.   Cause is mindstuff, not emotionstuff.

           Maybe for expressing it.   Sometimes it helps to talk about yer feelings, especially feelings yer sposta feel guilty about having.   But make sure yer audience can accept all yer feelings.   Telling yer mum yer angry when she's been telling ya for 40 years how awful anger is cuz her second hubby beat her when he was drunk, might be a great way to come to understand yer programming - by guilt-tripping yerself till ya get so sick of it ya cant stand it anymore - but it's no way to get support for the sovereignty of yer feelings.   Better to tell yer mum about the weather and talk to someone you can trust to stay in the present - especially if yer mum likes to pry and punish.   Or, if you think yer codependence is healed and ya wanna test yerself, sure, tell yer mum that yer angry and see if you can stand still and let her reactions roll off yer back like water ona duck.   And if you wanna be intimate with anybody, you gotta talk about everything you feel, but make sure you know how to talk without blame.   If you stay away from those thought-words and stick with yer emotion-words and sensation-words, you might have a chance.

           There's a whole buncha books out about emotional intelligence that might be useful.   I never got much outa them, but you might.   Many of the authors - Goleman, Gottman, Weisinger, for instance - are top-notch.   The sooner you resign yerself to learning to be loving with all yer feelings, the easier the next seven years will be.   Pisces is the last sign.   So lots of the feelings that will be coming up here will feel pretty final.   Celebrate that.   It's not "I'm a complete failure!" it's "Nothing is working, so hot damn, I'm free to try out something new!"   Anything new - hey, may as well be something I've always wanted to do!   That's after you've been present and loving with all those "I'm a failure" feelings, of course.   That's what finality is all about - clearing the slate so you can start afresh without prejudice.   The more finality, the more freedom, so by all means dive deep and relish the reality of the experience.

           Feel the reality of yer emotions as deeply as ya can but without identifying with them.   You don't identify with the weather.   When a storm comes through it's not yer storm, and if it hurts somebody you might feel bad for them, but you don't feel guilty about it.   It's just a storm.   Same with feelings.   It's not yer anger - that was just a guilt-trip Mom laid on ya so you wouldn't act out when you felt anger.   It's the anger.   Let it come, and let it go, like a squall.   Notice yerself trying to stop it or feel badly about it.   Notice yerself trying to grab it and hold on as if it was a carpetbag fulla hundred-euro notes.   Then let go, fer Goddess's sake.   That's why Uranus is in Pisces here, so we can learn how to do this, cuz nobody's ascending till they learn to embrace emotions completely without owning them.

           It's been sunny here for the last coupla days, first time in a while, so I took advantage of it to take a coupla rock pictures.   For larger versions, click on the photos below.

Sphalerite photo:J.Buss

           Sphalerite balances male and female synergies, ideal for 2004's Manifestation Void, and promotes that part of intuition which discriminates between fraud and sincerity.   Melody says it facilitates career change, helps integrate career with seva, and provides protection when dealing with the public.   Marquist and Frasl give it credit for incinerating toxins, moving them out of the body, and cauterizing the edges of energetic wounds.   It facilitates work with sound, especially in the deep base range, like the sound that mountains make when an earthquake vibrates them.   Stein says it helps us integrate our Earth-self with our other-planet parallels.   As a Zinc Sulfide it strengthens both the endocrine and the immune system, heals the joints, and facilitates big life transformations.

Golden Barite photo:J.Buss

           To Marquist and Frasl, the essence of Golden Barite is truthful intent - this crystal lives on my keyboard.   Like Sphalerite it also helps remove toxins and facilitates intuition, as well as helping to eliminate codependence and addictions, and move one from obedience to integrity.   Melody says it can liberate trapped emotions for release.   According to Roeder it softens intensity.   Stein assigns it to the hara, where it clears blocks and focuses our life mission.   It's the Sulfate of Barium.   The -ate ending on Sulfate means it's Sulfur and Oxygen - the -ide ending on Zinc Sulfide means it's just Sulfur, no Oxygen.   It's Oxygen that ignites Fire, Spirit, Vitality, Life, and burns away what's stuck.   Many rocks are half Oxygen by weight.   Since Barium's very heavy, Barite's only 27% Oxygen.

Citrine photo:J.Buss Citrine photo:J.Buss

           We all know Citrine, one of only two minerals that directly transmute negativity and so do not need cleaning.   It's color assigns it to the third chakra, where according to Gienger it aids individuality and self-expression and confidence and digestion of both experience and food.   Both Amethyst and Citrine are Quartz "contaminated" by traces of Iron.   Citrine often forms when Amethyst is ionized by radiation.   It combines the focusing power of Quartz with the grounding quality of Iron, clears both mind and aura, and integrates emotion and thought, bringing passion into creativity.   Like Sphalerite it balances yin and yang.   Citrine unifies the root, belly, and solar plexus chakras and can eliminate fear by integrating mind, heart, and action to reduce activity that does not serve one's mission.   Quartz is half Oxygen and half Silicon, which heals, lends security, awakens, and harmonizes with Nature.

Peridot photo:J.Buss

           Peridot - Forsterite to Geologists - is our first Heart-chakra crystal, and a good example of a stone that's almost half Oxygen.   Most of the other half is Magnesium, which calms the nerves, relaxes the muscles, hardens the bones, softens the flesh, and makes attitudes more resilient and open to opportunity.   The rest is Silicon.   Peridot promotes self-determination, amends, and self-love, detoxifies the liver and the emotions, clears the adrenals, and cleanses the pancreas to balance blood sugar levels.   It can heal childhood abuse.   Roeder says it "is a clear connection to the Divine Ideal and brings that Ideal directly into the cellular level [and] activates it [there].   It finds the potential for perfection already inherent in the DNA and connects it into the light... Its energies are soft enough that they flow easily into the old structure as they replace it with the new one... The angelic energies that work with Peridot have an especially close connection to those that work with water... It brings healing and vitality to the whole body and helps heal the emotions" [p.138].

Chrome Diopside photo:J.Buss

           Our next green Heart-chakra crystal is Chromium Diopside.   Diopside is another Magnesium Silicate (recall, Silicate means Silicon and Oxygen), but with a more complex structure than Peridot, and with a substantial amount of Calcium added.   A trace of Chromium provides the green color.   We've said this before, but it's worth repeating.   Calcium is so important in so many biological processes, that yer bod will pull it right outa yer bones if there aint enough usable Calcium in yer diet.   It's Vitamin D that makes Calcium usable, and the only natural source of Vitamin D is Sunlight - our skin makes it from Sunlight.   That's tough in the high latitudes in winter. That's why us old farts get bald - so we can suck more Vitamin D outa the Sunshine.   Now, be careful not to get stuck in chemistry and ignore the world of physics.   Calcium is a substance, but it's also a frequency.

           So the presence of Calcium in Diopside vibrates in the same way that the Calcium in yer body does.   Exposing yer body to the frequency of Calcium - wearing or meditating with Diopside - is a lot like digesting Calcium substances.   There's only a trace of Chromium, but that's plenty, because Chromium is strong.   200 micrograms of Chromium is enough to make me feel like I've had six cups of coffee - and it lasts all day!   Like Peridot, Chromium promotes self-determination and individuation, enlivens the body and the passions, and regulates metabolism and blood sugar levels.   It can heal inflammation of the major organs and sinuses.   Diopside deepens connections and opens intuition.   Chrome Diopside brings the deep relaxation of floating in water, say Marquist and Frasl.

Emerald photo:J.Buss

           Next we come to Emerald.   Silicates come in six different styles.   In Peridot and Garnet and Kyanite, the silicate molecules are solo, so they're tied together fairly loosely, compared to other silicates.   In Citrine and other Quartzes, the silicate molecules are all linked tightly together in a three-dimensional matrix.   That's what makes Quartz so hard.   In Diopside and Jade, the molecules are linked together in chains, and the chains are linked together more loosely.   Jade is so tough because in Jade the chains are virtually woven together.   In Micas, the molecules form into sheets, with weak bonds between layers.   And in many of the gemstones, like Emerald, the silicate molecules are linked tightly together in rings.

           Emerald is green Beryl - Beryllium Aluminum Silicate.   Jewelers use different names for Beryls of different colors - Emerald for green, Aquamarine for blue, Morganite for pink, Heliodor for yellow, Goshenite for clear, for instance.   Geologists and chemists use the name Beryl for all of these stones because they all have the same chemical and crystalline structure, just different trace impurities that lend color.   In Emerald, the trace color comes again from Chromium.   We'll get to Aluminum ina minute.   Beryllium is carcinogenic, but it's held very tightly in the Beryl structure, so not to worry - just dont go grinding on an emerald and inhaling the dust.   It's one of the lightest elements, hence one of the more powerful.

           Beryllium symbolizes Lizard.   Here's Marquist and Frasl [p.29]...

"It is commonly believed in many cultures that life on Earth is impossible without Serpent.   This is likely to be true, because movement of energy up and down the spine is a kundalini process.   All consciousness development is dependent on kundalini.   Yet, Serpent introduces a toxicity which must be transmuted, hence the image of Serpent has become a complex, often negative symbol for humans to decipher."

"Emerald is the physical plane embodiment of the Great Seal of the Serpent Mother.   This green beryl can be likened to... the small death which brings detachment from the temptations, desires, and weaknesses of physical life.   Emerald is the great protectress of the Cave of Self where self-realization resides...   Emerald... bypasses normal psychic function, bringing awareness directly to the heart where compassion rules...   Emerald stimulates courage to embody Light as a beacon rather than bleed from the heart endlessly for the trials and needs of others" [pp.57-58].

When combined with gold, "for removing baggage from one's existence in order to empty oneself for Source, there is no other more powerful pairing" [p.58].

           Emerald opens us to broader perspectives and allows us to circumvent the mind and choose directly from the heart.   Someone asked, "whaddaya mean by 'We might even realize that making a decision means we've abandoned the Heart!' in {jbull} 2004 in Biggies?"   Decisions are more mindstuff.   If we live from intuition, we dont need to make decisions.   If we live from Heart, we dont make decisions, we make choices.   "Decide" means to cut down or cut away.   The mind does analysis, it cuts things into pieces.   The Heart does synthesis - it puts things back together.   The mind is about Separation, the heart about Wholeness, about Healing.   Intuition is direct from Spirit.   Think about the last time you made a decision.   Was it about the best way to implement your own priorities, or was it about how to balance your own priorities with other people's priorities?   Intuition does a better job of the former.   From the perspective of Uranus, the latter is self-abandonment.   Lotsa yesbuts on that one?   Good, fuel for the fire!

Rosasite photo:J.Buss

           Our final Heart crystal for today is Rosasite, those cute little green tufts.   Rosasite's a Carbonate, but it's mostly Copper and Oxygen, with a little Zinc thrown in.   Gienger says, "Copper helps develop creative imagination and dissolve confusion.   It creates neutrality and a balancing of mood and also promotes free expression of feelings.   Copper makes it possible to live out and enjoy the senses and sexuality."   How can ya lose?   It's Copper that catalyzes the body's ability to use Iron to ferry Oxygen about.   Zinc inhibits that process, but the Copper in Rosasite outweighs the Zinc by three to one.   Carbon is of course the basis of Earthly biology.   With all that going on, of course Rosasite "induces enthusiasm, willingness and readiness to play, work or receive spiritual grace" [Marquist & Frasl p.129].   Rosasite facilitates retrieval of information from beyond the Veil, and heals any issue that needs Oxygenation or the infusion of Spirit.

Ocean Picture Stone photo:J.Buss

           So now we edge into the blues, into the land where under the rule of Uranus self-expression becomes more generosity than rebellion, as Rob Brezsny puts it (see {jbull} 2004 in Biggies).   This first delicate shade of Aquamarine against white sand is a piece of Ocean Picture Stone, a copper-laced agate from British Columbia.   Agates, along with Jasper and Flint, are Chalcedonies, or Quartz with a vanishingly fine or "crytocrystalline" crystal structure.   The blue-green shades are about Speaking (blue, Throat) Truth (green, Heart) and opening the "high Heart" chakra.   Marquist and Frasl tell us to use Ocean Picture Stone wherever we would use Ajoite - and pocket the extra hundred dollars.   Melody says that Ajoite "provides the proper reception frequency for the cellular structure of the body, allowing for transmission of the message of perfection from the ethereal body.   It is both a master healer and a medium for access to the higher worlds" [p.102].

           Of course, as with any intention, the first thing the Universe is gonna show ya is the reason why you haven't had such bliss all along.   The more powerful a Stone, the more intense the experience of whatever impediments to bliss you still hold in yer body.   So when a Stone gives you a bad experience - like the nightmares Ocean Picture Stone can give me - clean it thoroughly, set it aside for a day or two, and then try it again, adding the intention for a gentle and loving release of all that stands in the way to your previous intention.   Clean a Stone by leaving it in Sunshine or Moonlight for several hours, holding it in running Water for a few minutes, setting it on a block of Citrine or Kyanite overnight, or holding it at arms length in yer right hand while you pulse a strong bolt of Gold Light through it.   Point it at yer Compost pile or Water when ya do this, so the synergy is recycled cleanly.   I don't recommend soaking in Salt Water.   Coupla caveats - don't put pink or light purple crystals in strong Sun, as heat can alter them.   And be careful with Water - Selenite is Water-soluble and will dissolve, for instance, and Water will tarnish Stones like Covellite.

Montana Blue Agate photo:J.Buss

           This Montana Blue Agate has captured the Sky.   The person running the synergy of this rock would speak softly and their voice would carry Sunshine.   Stones, recall, are about vibration frequencies.   You don't need to carry the Stone around with you, you just need to lose yourself for a moment in the picture to set the memory, then recall it whenever you want to bring the synergy of that Stone into your life.   Roeder says Agate "increases the flow of energy between the [physical and emotional] bodies and helps them communicate with each other.   It is particularly supportive of the adrenals and pancreas, as these glands are involved in converting the light that comes to us as life force (prana) from the Sun into energy that our bodies can use on the physical level" [p.37].

Blue Lace Agate photo:J.Buss

           Here's a more traditional African Blue Lace Agate. The "lace" would be found by slicing it - you can make out a bit of "lace" on the bottom edge.   This one knows a magic trick of which you can see a hint on the left edge - when light reflect from it, it's blue.   But when light comes through it, it's pink!   Pink is the other Heart color.   Where green is Love made manifest, pink is Love without judgment.   The synergy in this Stone would help recover the innocence and curiosity we enjoyed before our cultural and biological gender programming skewed us.   Marquist and Frasl tell us that Blue Lace's "highest character resonates with spirit guide and angelic connections rather than physical health issues.   However, it influences the physical body effectively through body-mind healing practices...   Any health issue can be alleviated and progressively released through its effects on the subtle bodies" [p.6].

Kyanite photo:J.Buss

           The other Crystal that directly transmutes negative synergies and therefore never needs cleaning, is Kyanite, a simple Aluminum Silicate called Disthene in Europe.   The name Kyanite comes from the same root as the color cyan.   Aluminum alkalizes the body, eliminating a precondition for many diseases, though it's toxic in large doses, so you want to emulate the vibration rather than ingesting the chemical.   Aluminum also calms the nerves, and facilitates looking beyond the Veil to recognize our larger Cosmic Self.   Kyanite clears our victim spaces so we are free to rewrite our contracts and liberate ourself, releasing us from the bonds of karma.

Wollastonite photo:J.Buss

           Finally we come to Wollastonite, a Calcium Silicate where the molecules are arranged in chains like they are in Diopside, but the crystals look more like petrified Dragonfly wings than Stones.   Wollastonite connects the crown chakra with the root, helping us as Angeles Arrien puts it, to "walk the mystical path with practical feet."   Symbolically, Dragonfly is to Dragon as Chameleon is to T. rex - the diminutive modern survivor of a race more dominant in ages past, and the thread which can be pulled to once again thicken the tapestry when hupers through their own greed make their Home uninhabitable.   The message of Dragon is that spirit - fire - is inside, not outside.   That it has the power to consume and transform.   Dragonfly is the Phoenix that is reborn, the Moldywart that lives on as a shadow which cannot be killed because it is part of ourself.