Step Outside and Say That

24 September 2003

BdF6     original art by
    Bryan de Flores

           Not much interpretation in that last note, pretty much just a calendar.   So here's the "skinny" about combining Mars and Saturn-Chiron.

           When people tell me stories about creating what they didn't plan to create, the first thing I oughta do, is empathize with their frustration.   Nobody hears ya till after you empathize.   I've put a fabulous article on what empathy ain't, on   Please respect Holley's copyright on this article.   When I first read this article, I had a hard time imagining what empathy is, if it ain't any of those things!

           What I do instead, when someone tells me a story about manifesting what they don't want, is give advice.   Big no-no.   Always ask before giving advice, whether they're interested in hearing whatcha got to say.   Better yet, wait till they ask!   And always wait till after they've finished talking about their experience, with your empathic encouragement of course.   That's what my NVC training tells me to do (   But do I listen?   Naaahhh.   I give advice.

           On the other hand, NVC says that we shouldn't oughta listen to anybody for one second longer than it gives us pleasure to listen.   And I really want folks to manifest what they want.   So I persist in doing it "wrong."   I keep a piece of Manganotantalite on my keyboard - Manganotantalite helps you "speak so others can hear" - and I'm sure it helps immensely, but I may need a bigger piece.   So here's what this Mars-Saturn-Chiron means for us, Manganotantalite notwithstanding.

Manganotantalite photo:J.Buss

           When people start talking about how they're manifesting what they don't want, I start talking about their victim trip.   Blaaaaaaat (gross loud buzzer) - wrong!   They don't wanna hear they're on a victim trip, they wanna talk about how the universe is dealing them a bum hand.   I mean, sure, we create our own reality, but wait'll I tellya what they did next!

           And that's exactly what Mars-Saturn-Chiron is about.   The opportunity to take the places where the universe is dealing us a bum hand, and take responsibility for what we're creating.   Responsibility (willingness to work for change), not blame (Who did this!?!).   It's not that hard.   Creating our own reality is not something that starts next month - it's always been here.   What part of us could possibly have wanted a result which makes us feel victimized?

           Well, any part of us that wants healing, would speak up that way, wouldn't they.   "Look what we're creating here, do we really want this?   Can't we get some healing attention here?" is a good guess about what they're trying to communicate.   That's what Chiron does, healing.   And if we don't recognize that we're creating it, guess what that's about - identification!   We identify with the victim role here.   That's what Saturn does, identification.   And somebody's doing something to us - Mars plain and simple.

           So whadda we do about it.   Well, one good place to start, is to ask ourself "How old do I feel here?"   If we was empowered, we'd be bringing our full adult powers into the situation, and we wouldn't be creating what we don't want.   So we must be regressed to a younger age, where we have less consciousness and power.   Then you can be loving with your historical child at that age - or any child at that age - that'll start the healing process.   Everything else will take care of itself.

           That's why women are so much farther advanced in their healing than men - in the "real" world women are constantly being called upon to nurture children at one age or another.   Every time they do, they're challenged to be loving with their own inner child of that age.   Thatsa lotta healing.

           We could also use Fritz Perls's technique of interviewing our inner saboteur, to discover what their needs are, that appear to conflict with what "we" (our conscious self) want.   Then we can negotiate win-win between "us" and "them."   But people seem to hear this idea even less than they hear the notion that onea their best friends might be creating those bummers for them.   Very difficult to find a piece of Manganotantalite that big.