4 December 2003
original art by
Bryan de Flores
The big news this week is the end of Pallas's very busy retreat, on Saturday at Honolulu 2am, Seattle 4am, New York 7am, London noon, Jersalem 2pm, Melbourne 11pm.   Expect Pallas energy to get stronger till then, and taper off afterwards.   The retreats of Pallas and Ceres, recall, braid with the Saturn and Chiron retreats this year, and this month the Mercury retreat braids in as well.   So conceptually, how would we braid together Chiron (healing) with Saturn (focus/identity), Ceres (survival), Pallas (wisdom/defense), and Mercury (communication)?
The Pallas retreat spans 10-29 Aries and 22 August to 6 December.   The shadow period, during which Pallas crosses 10-29 Aries thrice, runs from the middle of last May through most of February.   In the Harmonic Concordance chart, Pallas tsquared the Saturn-Chiron opposition and paralleled the eclipse and Neptune, effectively unifying three of the major HC phenomena - the illumination (by parallel), the healing (by square), and the End of the Patriarchy (by nature, since Pallas Athena was Venus in her Morning Star or Warrior Goddess incarnation).
In a word, Pallas is the wisdom of knowing what's worth defending.   Knowing one's own heart, knowing what will be resented if its betrayed - or being willing to confront and seek redress when one discovers betrayal.   You know the drill, "Hell hath no fury..."   This is yer inner woman, so you dont want her taking it out on you, which is what she'll do if you dont take it out on yer abusers.
Youall should know if you dont already, that when yer birthday occurs near one of these events, then the event applies not just to the week, but to the entire coming year.
So a lot of what's coming together this week, is about starting to negotiate (Mercury) redress (Pallas) for the places where our natural energies (Chiron) were repressed (Saturn) in ways that threatened our survival (Ceres).   The places where fear makes us hold back our natural self and put on a socially-acceptable mask.   I'm not suggesting you'll be out pounding on yer parents gravestone with a sledge.   But you might be taking risks to start expressing things that you've kept hidden for a long time.   Or discover things about yerself that have been hidden from you.
The end of a retreat means that two of the three crossings have been completed.   In general, the first crossing brings up an issue we hadn't seen in that light - often by highlighting a "failure," and the second crossing allows us to deal with the issue in new ways.   Not necessarily "successful" ways, but the realization that we do not always have to react the way we were programmed to react, and this much more important than any idea about "success."   The third crossing, which we'll see between now and 21 February, is the time when we often begin to feel successful, now realizing we have choices where we had none before.
This 10-29 of Aries tidily covers the Leo and Sadge decanates of Aries - the space where a new surge of spirit (Aries) reaches fulfillment (Leo) in us, and then begins to enliven the rest of our existence (Sadge).   The new surge would have been born in us during the last half of April and the first half of May.   Among other things, those of you who were around then might remember this, from Martin Prechtel, Toe Bone and Tooth, pp.284-5,
"The most horrible perversity of the tense and cautious state of life in hidden exile is that one lacks the friends of the village into whose arms one can confidently drop, unguarded, into the holy bath of grief, inside of which all truly happy men and women must bathe to transform the great losses of life in wars, sicknesses, the loss of homelands and the loss of one's confidence in human decency into a wailing that ends in poetry and elegant praise of the ability to feel.   For desire, mistaken for love, without the capacity to truly feel the losses that actual loving entails, is what makes murderers of people who have no home friendly enough to allow them both the complete sadnesses and joys their love can feel.(Thanks to jaihn http://jaihngems.blogspot.com/ for those inspirations.)
"Occulted as we were, like quails in front of searching bird dogs, our silence caused our immediate survival.   The great proper wailing of the type Mayans and all indigenous humans know they have to make at all their losses, deep and true, become when hunted and away from all the friends, a thing put off until a later time, if a later time ever comes; which if it doesn't and the uncried grief of war is later forgotten for what it is, the waiting tears will settle into a violent silt at the bottom of the river of the so-called resumption of normal everyday life, in which the ghost of wars-to-come are sprouted from this forgetting, this grief left uncried for future generations far from the time that made it."
Its important to remember this, because Uranus re-enters Pisces on 30 December, and it was Uranus entering Pisces at the ides of March that accompanied the invasion of Iraq.   We'll be reliving that time, tempted to react to it the way we did then, and given the opportunity to respond newly, more effectively, this time maybe even "successfully."
On a more personal level, its the times when we were invaded that ask to be reviewed.   As Uranus first enters Pisces it feels like our emotions (Pisces) go crazy (Uranus).   But as we gain experience with this we begin to understand that these are the emotions from the silt at the bottom of our personal river of grief left uncried, that we are the future generation that faces this specter of personal wars-to-come.
The function of our Pallas experience here, is to grant us the wisdom to know what must be grieved and what must be redressed - and what must be healed.   Every invasion illuminates a wound, and there are always two responses that are demanded.   The first is to parry, to defend.   The second is to heal.   During the Age of Pisces we were taught that to parry was wrong, that to be wounded was noble.   Those days are behind us.   In the Age of Aquarius, damn betcha we parry, but we parry harmlessly.   We parry, we do not thrust.
If we parry successfully, then we buy ourself the space to heal.   We heal by being loving with the grief, the anger, and the guilt that arises.   These three stages are necessary.   Anger that we were invaded.   Grief that it wounded us.   Guilt that we were forced to parry, when we were taught that it was wrong.   That's when it's working.   If we merged deeply with that Age of Pisces program and haven't entered Recovery yet, then we may feel guilt that we've been invaded, as though we were to blame for our abuse.   In that case the grief and anger will also be warped.
Either way, it's locating the feeling in yer body and loving it there, that heals.   You may also have to name yer emotions.   Not to blame them on anyone or anything, but to discriminate them.   To know anger from guilt, and grief from anger.   Uranus will be in Pisces till just before 2012, and without a veil, we will need to become very expert at dealing with emotions.   Some newagers, the Atlantean crowd mostly, believe emotions will be left behind.   They'll be suffering most, as they burn more and more of their energy trying to keep their hearts hidden from themselves.
The Pallas retreat ends at 10 Aries - "Revision of attitude at the beginning of a new cycle of experience" [Rudhyar p.56], and the shadow ends on 21 February at 29 Aries - "Attunement to cosmic order" [p.70].